"If nothing ever changed, there would be no butterflies."

"...and she laughs at the time to come." Proverbs 31:25

There was a time when I feared change. I think it was sometime around 'the big change' that happens to everyone as they transition between the worlds of childhood and adolescence. Letting go of the carefree child me and learning to wear the awkward adult wardrobe made me distrustful of other 'big changes.' And like many young adolescent's, in order to protect myself, I took control. The bridge of years between me at this moment and my twelve year old self have been a battle against the construction of control. Slowly, God has helped me loose the bricks free of that wall, at times brick by brick and at times tumbling entire sections. 

A chasm of difference lies between self-control and control of circumstances. I had a beautiful childhood and an adventurous and wonderful adolescence. But I am a human in a broken world.  A natural byproduct of the sin in this world (and in me) is the knee jerk feeling that I must control my little universe to keep myself as safe as possible. I can't control the seasons, storms, other people, economy, blueberry prices, or traffic. But I do have a choice in how I respond to the things and people I can not control. 

God has been teaching me how to laugh with the joy of knowing that He is the Beginning and the End. God tells us in Psalm 35, "Let those who delight in my righteousness shout for joy and be glad and say evermore, 'Great is the Lord, who delights in the welfare of his servant.'"

I have entered a new big change- marriage to my best friend, a new name, and a new family. I have had to pinch myself a few times by how wonderful these early days of marriage have been for Jon and I. This season has been so sweet that, recently, I felt guilty and wondered when things would become difficult (because that is a part of life). But God reminded me how each season is a gift in itself and a gift to the next season. 

Spring ushers in summer. Summer grows autumn's harvest and autumn rests in winter. And winter causes spring to break across the ground like a giant smile in the earth. God, being the best of Fathers, gives only good gifts. I want to say with Paul, I know the secret of being content in need and in plenty. "For me, to live is Christ and to die is gain."

I did not plan to be so wordy in my first blog post in my new blog. As I flutter my wings in this new marriage season, I find myself with a window of time to return to old friends, reading and writing. To celebrate, I am refreshing my soul with ponderings in my private and public journals. 

My soul is refreshed in writing these thoughts and I hope your soul is refreshed by reading them.