Goodbyes and new beginnings.

This year is taking my nomadic leanings to an entirely new level. Goodbye Texas and hello Ohio. And of course Missouri home will be sandwiched in between.

Jon and I never imagined we would fall in love with Texas and SO many wonderful Texans. But we did. And that makes the leaving bittersweet. 

We continue to have open hands to God in the matter. "Lord, root us or move us, we just want to be obedient to you." And so, we are being blown northly. 

Today the laundry lady visited me and updated me on her husband. He is dying from an aggressive and returned cancer. He is the maintenance man in the hotel and they met at another hotel that he worked for. It was a Hallmark kind of romance of housekeeper falls in love with the maintenance man kind of story. They have been together over a decade and I have only guessed their ages, but I am thinking a young 60ish range. All they really have is each other.

"God is really testing me, Chelsea." The laundry lady told me. She is taking the bus to the hospital to spend the night with her husband this evening. How do you respond to that kind of pain? I am brand new married and cozied up on my couch with homework for my new job and already planning dinner in my mind for my hubster who is coming home. I hugged her. Sometimes words just don't cut it. 

We talked about things we can control and things we can't. And what we do with the things we can't control. "You are right," she told me, "only God can handle holding all of this."

It is strange how the lives of our hotel 'neighbors' have been woven into the fabric or our experience in the few short months we were here.

Before Jon and I were married, the most I had spent in a hotel was, maybe, a week. I have learned all kinds of interesting things about people who do extended stay living. There is a couple from California who have been living here for 2 years. I learned this because our gym time often coincides. Their Christmas tree twinkles from outside their window when we walk on that side of the hotel. I can't imagine living in a hotel for 2 years. But I didn't imagine living in a hotel for 2 months. And here we are.

Mostly, like my handsome husband, the 'neighbors' are here on extended business. One night, a large portion of a delayed plane filled up the hotel. Unlike our last hotel, the walls are not so soundproof here and the child play and thundering footsteps was fun.. for one night anyways. But the housekeepers were running around the next day frazzled and sweating and swearing in Spanish.

It is still strange having a daily knock on the door. "Housekeeping!" But now that we are buddies, I have learned how to make a professional hotel bed and have an entirely new appreciation for the in's and out's of hotel machinery. Housekeepers have a birds eye view to the most strange and I have been regaled with stories about hotel ghosts and odd guests who steal toilet paper and store them in places that the housekeepers can clearly see them. They giggle over some stories and bemoan others. On the top floor a woman died and wasn't found for quite a few days. We all shudder together at the thought.

The old saying, "if walls could speak," has particular weight in the highly trafficked rooms of a hotel.

Soon, the friendly young married couple from room #102 will be a another one of those stories, and perhaps eventually only remembered by the walls.

But there is One who REALLY sees all. And, He doesn't forget us. And at this moment, as I consider all the unknowns of the the big horizon and the maintenance man in the hospital, I am comforted by this thought. My life and the lives around me are not disjointedly zooming through time and accidentally crossing paths without any meaning or purpose. Even though I don't see the whole tapestry, I am comforted by the knowledge that the threads are being woven together with purpose and eternal design by a loving Father.

I didn't mean to chase these thoughts down any strange philosophical or theological tunnels. Goodbyes and change often stir up this line of thinking for me. But as this third-culture-kid with all kinds of goodbye baggage has learned, processing the hard thoughts through is always worth it. Because they lead me back to Jesus. No Jesus juking here. Just straight up thankful to be adventuring after the One who promises that we will never have to say goodbye to Him.

Living and Loving.

“I discovered later, and I'm still discovering right up to this moment, that is it only by living completely in this world that one learns to have faith. By this-worldliness I mean living unreservedly in life's duties, problems, successes and failures. In so doing we throw ourselves completely into the arms of God, taking seriously, not our own sufferings, but those of God in the world. That, I think, is faith.” 

― Dietrich Bonhoeffer

"...but whoever keeps [God's] word, in him truly the love of God is perfected. By this we may know that we are in him: whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked." 1 John 2:5-6

Amidst the routine: work e-mails, laundry, dishes, and gray wintry light, my thoughts glow with wonder. I wonder with all the child-like curiosity I can not shake off and I wonder with all the child-like awe that my wonderings produce. In the very mundane, the dish washing, the laundry folding... heaven reigns. 

My thoughts are heavy with suffering today as I check off my mental to-do-list. My heart breaks for dear hearts that are at their lowest. My heart weeps over the hate swelling in Ferguson. I don't need to even look beyond this room after one of the hotel housekeepers shares with me her hurt with her estranged sister.I want to "live unreservedly in life's duties, problems, successes and failures."But how to fight the despair of the pain that rocks our world? My world? 

I consider Dietrich Bonhoeffer's words on faith. How can living unreservedly produce the faith of falling completely into the arms of God? I think about that word, 'unreservedly.' That means holding nothing back. I am remember a quote that I read from Ann Voskamp yesterday, "tears are not a sign of weakness, they are a sign of an open heart." But being SO in the pain, the reality of this world, MY world, it is too much. Dietrich Bonhoeffer spoke these words in a moment in time when Nazi cruelty appeared to overcome. It was in THAT world that he recommended to BE UNRESERVEDLY.  

Taking a break from my tasks, I cozied up with a cup of coffee and drank in Scripture. John's words mesmerized me..."walk in the same in which he walked." What is God's response to this world? Love so rich that He gave up His own Son that we might live. LIVE. And how did Jesus walk? He put on our skin, the Holy covered himself in the unholy. And he obediently, joyfully, went to the cross. 

My mind can't comprehend it. In a culture laced with materialism and selfie addiction, it is difficult to imagine such a thing. 

When I do not turn away from the darkness but look deeply into the pit, I see that even the darkness is light to God. And I can sink into that pit knowing that my God went there first... and He goes with me now. It is not by climbing some spiritual ladder that I find the keys wholeness. It is by unreservedly facing my world, and, when confronted with my own inadequacy, FALLING into the arms of the one who went to the pit and overcame the world and said, "it is finished." 

“It is only because he became like us that we can become like him.” 

― Dietrich Bonhoeffer, The Cost of Discipleship

“While we exert ourselves to grow beyond our humanity, to leave the human behind us, God becomes human; and we must recognize that God wills that we be human, real human beings. While we distinguish between pious and godless, good and evil, noble and base, God loves real people without distinction. ” 

― Dietrich Bonhoeffer, A Year with Dietrich Bonhoeffer

“God loves human beings. God loves the world. Not an ideal human, but human beings as they are; not an ideal world, but the real world. What we find repulsive in their opposition to God, what we shrink back from with pain and hostility, namely, real human beings, the real world, this is for God the ground of unfathomable love.” 

― Dietrich Bonhoeffer, A Year with Dietrich Bonhoeffer

“The Church is the Church only when it exists for others...not dominating, but helping and serving. It must tell men of every calling what it means to live for Christ, to exist for others.” 

― Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Letters and Papers from Prison

“There is no way to peace along the way of safety. For peace must be dared. It is itself the great venture and can never be safe. Peace is the opposite of security. To demand guarantees is to want to protect oneself. Peace means giving oneself completely to God's commandment. Wanting no security, but in faith and obedience laying the destiny of the nations in the hand of almighty God. Not trying to direct it for selfish purposes. Battles are won not with weapons, but with God. They are won when the way leads to the cross.” 

― Dietrich Bonhoeffer

I consider the life of Dietrich Bonhoeffer and tears fall with the impact of his words knowing that he obediently followed in the steps of Jesus to the end of an executioner's noose in the Nazi prison that he was kept. I think about Martin Luther King, Jr. who was inspired but Bonhoeffer and also spoke for Gospel justice in the face of opposition, even death.

We are all called to die. When and how becomes less important when we learn to truly live. And like a city on a hill, a candle in the dark, we invite others to truly live with us. 

I begin to put the warm folded shirts and socks and pants away and savor the sacred moment. 

Whatever it is, laundry, broken hearts, bruised bodies, winter blues, Thanksgiving dinners and St. Louis riots... I can enter into the moment, holding nothing back, with the confident faith in God who is ALWAYS in the moment, acting with love. 

The gift of giving.

Monk Parakeet (we think) - Irving, Texas

Yesterday, I talked Jon into taking me to Starbucks before our birding adventure. He was blessed with a day off and we planned to spend our free morning together exploring a nearby park. We hoped we could enjoy some bird observation but our main goal was to simply enjoy nature, ensconced as we are in our pavement neighborhood . The Texas air was surprisingly chilly and after a few moments in the gusting sixty-something-degree weather, we were both excited about the prospect of a warm drink. 

As we hurried into Starbucks, I noticed an older man a little down the sidewalk. He was standing next to a garbage can and intently examining a piece of paper. I wondered if he was homeless but quickly forgot about him as Jon and I embraced the warmth of the coffee shop. 

We spent a considerable time choosing our drinks and deciding on what treats should accompany them. We finally settled on breakfast sandwiches and as an afterthought, added muffins. I chose a blueberry muffin and nodded emphatically when asked if I wanted it heated up. 

We braced ourselves for the wind and beelined for Jon's Subaru. I happened to glance to my side and noticed that the old man, as if frozen in time, remained in the exact same position as before. My heart caught. "Jon," I called over the wind. "Would you be okay if I gave him one of my muffins?" Jon looked around and shouted back, "What?" But even before I explained, he saw the man and coming closer, said, "Of course, Chelsea. Give him whatever you think."

I approached the old man and he stepped back defensively. Jon, not wanting to alarm him more stayed a few more feet away. At handshake distance, the man looked younger. He looked down at his paper and asked me if I knew anything about Direct TV and how to get the $150 they were offering. I was confused. Maybe he wasn't homeless. 

Embarrassed, I told him I didn't know anything about Direct TV but I had an extra muffin and wondered if perhaps he would like it. He made eye contact with me at this point and reached for the proffered treat bag. "Well, it is probably for the best you don't know anything about this Direct TV." He told me genuinely. I smiled. "I hope God surprises you with all kinds of blessings today, sir. " I actually surprised myself saying it. He looked at me again and said, "He always does."

Before Jon and I were even buckled into the Subaru, we watched the man hungrily bite into the warm muffin. I was glad I had asked for it to be heated.

We prayed for him as we drove away. And somehow, giving that muffin away, to stranger in need, tasted better than I knew the muffin ever could have. 

Giving can feel vulnerable. What if my gift is not received? What if I regret giving something I value away?

Jon and I were in birder heaven at the park. We saw more birds than we could even begin to identify. But I can not help consider the God who fashioned them. He created unique feather after unique feather and because He delights in His creation, He notices them. God notices the birds.

Great Blue Heron - Irving, Texas

Matthew 10:29 "Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father."

Jesus reminds us in scripture that God cares even for the lowliest bird He has made. And if the one who breathed life into the dust of Adam cares about something so little, we can be confident that He notices us... with so much love. 

And He gave us the ultimate gift. Himself.

Why does giving feel so good? When I give what was never mine to begin with, something is released inside of me. It is as if I have let go of an invisible string that was holding me back. My soul feels lighter and happier. I was noticed by God and it feels so wonderful to share that gift, even if in a very small way, with someone else. 

I have a lot to learn about giving. I would not want to pat myself on the back for my 'good deed' and retreat back into what is comfortable. No. I want to keep noticing. 

Jon prayed out loud before we fell asleep last night. He prayed for the muffin man and BJ (another homeless man that we encountered that same day). But mostly, Jon prayed for our hearts. That God would help us have courage to meet people where they are at and even be willing to stay there with them. Because, that is what God does with us. 

What would I do for a cup of coffee?

I looked at my phone and registered 10:55. A few morning birds were still warbling and I paused to enjoy the sound as the sun warmed my face. The cool wind was refreshing after a September full of hot Texas daybreaks.

My leather Ecuadorian purse hung lightly at my waist. I practically emptied it but for my cards and chapstick. I was learning. I calculated a 15 minute brisk walk ahead of me one way.

Jon is teaching me (refreshing me) on how to drive his standard car but while I don't have a job he is taking it in to work. We think we will only be in this area a few more weeks with his current project and so job searching has been temporarily put on hold for me. As much as I like to be busy, I am not complaining. The past month and a half have been a restful balm to my soul. I needed to remember how to rest and enjoy little things like morning birds.

I usually make a perfect Americano in our little hotel home using my new Aeropress but I decided to adventure out today for a familiar cup of Starbucks coffee. Besides, we were given a Starbucks gift card for our wedding (but we both knew it was really for me). There is a Starbucks within walking distance and I thought it would be fun to enjoy a cup of coffee and a nice walk. I love walking.

There is a large church next to us with a parking lot encased in a tall wall. There is a convenient two person sized whole punched through the cement wall. It connects a large neighborhood to the mall and sprawl of shops Jon and I are situated next to. It is the only direct rout. One would have to walk some distance in either direction to get through, we know because we tried once on an evening walk.

I have speculated on who might have pulled down the cement bricks in that portion of the wall. And not just pulled them down, they are completely gone. And strangely, a feeling of victory and comaraderie with everyone who must walk to get to their destination wells up in me.

As I carefully climb through the hole and dodge all of the trash that have made their home there, I consider which route to take. My choices are a main road or a neighborhood. My handy phone GPS tells me that the main road is faster. But 5 minutes of walking tells there is also no sidewalk. I backtrack to the neighborhood.

The neighborhood is full of stories and contrast. Nestled into the city of Irving next to the fortress that is DFW airfield, the old neighborhood feels friendly and spooky, depending on the drive-way I am passing. A few homes look condemned and many seem in competition for the most shapely shrub. There are others, like me, out walking. Dogs bark and a black and white cat observes me. Three men outside a home, smoking, say hello. I nod politely and walk a little faster. The continuous traffic of people wraps me in a safety net but I am still cautious and careful.

My pace is steadily growing and with it the Texas sun begins to reach me in waves in between the tree cover. I finally make it to McDonalds where I veer right right. I decide to cut through a large parking lot towards the looming Starbucks sign.

All I can think about is water. I wipe moisture from my forehead and chuckle at myself. I walked all this way (15 minutes had melted into almost 30) only to crave WATER! I didn't even care what kind of coffee I had. Although, I knew I would have to buy coffee in order to ask for water.

I stared in shock at the hand written sign on the door, "Sorry for the inconvenience - temporarily closed due to power outage." I groaned and stared across the hot parking lot. Only one way to go, back.

I scanned the shops as I trudged. My mostly empty purse was beginning to weigh on my shoulder. I licked me lips and tried not to think about how delicious a cup of water would taste at that moment. I came to a donut shop and walked through the blessedly open door. Their coffee pot looked bleak but they also sold energy drinks. I bought three donuts (two for Jon) and a Power-aid. I drank the entire bottle before I reached the neighborhood.

I tiredly climbed through the hole in the wall and had a weird temptation to discard my empty bottle with the rest of the garbage nestled in the hole. Instead, I tossed the plastic into the trashcan outside of our hotel entrance.

I sat down on the couch in our little home. I looked at my phone and registered 12:10. I smiled wryly to myself. I spent over an hour to buy a bottle of Power-aid for $1.89. I sighed and poured myself a large, very large, cup of water. I would make coffee for myself later.

But the trip was not a waste. It was a valuable and living parable to me. Coffee is a luxury and walking is more than recreation. Too so many of the people around me in this little area, my 'adventure' is their daily experience. And a few of them, could not have afforded the Power-aid, not to mention the donuts.

There is a steady stream of people passing our window as they make their way through the hole in the wall. Most wear back-packs and I now see the practicality in that decision.

There is a well used phrase but I ponder its' relevance now. "Don't judge a man until you have walked a mile in his shoes."

I especially like this echo from a book that impacted me in my high school days,

“You never really know a man until you understand things from his point of view, until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.”
Lee, Harper. To Kill a Mockingbird. J.B. Lippincott & Co., 1960

As I sit here thinking and typing by an open window. I see a woman pass by. She looks about my age and she is wearing a backpack. I wonder if she is walking to work. I take another sip from my cheerfully yellow coffee mug.

Jesus did so much more than look at us with compassion. He put on our skin, ate bread, thirsted for water, covered his feet in dust, endured temptation and when he looked at a person, he saw them.

As a child of the age of the prosperity gospel, I reflect on the Israelites and the admonishment that Moses gave them before they entered the promised land.

"Take care lest you forget the Lord your God by not keeping his commandments and his rules and his statutes, which I command you today, lest, when you have eaten and are full and have built good houses and live in them, and when your herds and flocks multiply and your silver and gold is multiplied and all that you have is multiplied, then your heart be lifted up, and you forget the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery... Beware lest you say in your heart, 'My power and the might of my hand have gotten me this wealth...'" Deuteronomy 8:11-17

And what is the command of God? "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might." Deuteronomy 6:5 And Jesus quotes this verse to the religious leaders of the day and adds that the second commandment, "is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself." Matthew 22:39

In the comfort of our air conditioned apartment, as I type on my laptop and sip my coffee, I can hardly say that I have tasted poverty. But I do feel that I have walked through a wall. Thank you God for punching a hole in own unconscious judgement and giving me an opportunity to walk a short mile in another man's shoes.

I look out my window again and instead of seeing strangers pass by, I see my neighbors. Help me with the next part, Lord. The Good Samaritan part. When Jesus was asked, 'well, who is my neighbor?" He responded by telling the story of the Good Samaritan. The Good Samaritan, well, he was a person who, in the midst of his regular day, saw a neighbor in need and he stopped to help.

Jesus noticed my need, and he stopped his own heart to help. And now, with his heart, I have the incredible gift of doing the same. Please keep removing the wall of judgment that I so easily constuct and give me courage to act when my neighbor needs help.

What would I do for a cup of coffee? Anyone who knows me recognizes my 'small' and happy addiction. But I want something more. Water.

"Jesus said to her, 'Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." John 4:13-14

Birding beginnings.

[Danelle and I feeding the city pigeons - January 2012, Old Quito, Ecuador]

With our transient living status, Jon and I have been brainstorming ideas for hobbies that can travel with us. This weekend we each made a list of five things that we like to do or would like to do together. Fortunately for us (being married and all) we had almost everything in common. It then became a matter of narrowing down what we wanted to pursue. Reading, cooking, and studying scripture together. Those are things that happen pretty naturally in our routine together. But at the top of both of our lists was a hobby that we had talked about in the past but is completely new to both of us. Birding.

Pros of birding: 

1. Relatively cheap - start up cost includes a field journal, a North American Bird guide, and cost of printing any photos we might take.

2. Easy to travel with - birds (with the gift of flight) are everywhere.

3. A hobby that we could invite friends to join us on. A beautiful hike in a park? Totally, yeah!

Jon and I started researching together our new role as 'birders.' Our internet browsing was quickly enlightening to both of us. Birding is much more involved then we imaged and the world of birders is absolutely incredible. We feel like the tourists who stand out with their gaudy travel clothes and giant cameras hanging around their necks, pointing at landmarks with little understanding of the history and context of the thing they are taking so many pictures of.

Birding is serious. Jon taught me about 'pishing.' This is a sound that some birders use to attract the attention of birds. However, many birders frown on the practice because it is disturbing the natural environment. The whole point of birding is observation, according to the diehards. Jon and I jokingly practiced 'pishing' to one another the rest of the afternoon but honestly, we were feeling overwhelmed by our new hobby before we even started.

But then I remembered Chef Ramsay. He often instructs chefs and restaurant owners to 'stick to the basics.' The most beautiful meals are often the most simple.

Why do we want to watch birds? The joy of being in nature and observing and recording and reflecting on God's beautiful creation is so beautifully simple.

This week, I bought a green journal with soft drawings of birds and butterflies on the cover. It is full of empty pages just begging to be filled with all kinds of nature and birdy observations.

 [School girl playing with the city pigeons - January 2012, Old Quito, Ecuador]

Sometimes, I become paralyzed by an idea without actually trying it. Like a juvenile bird venturing from the nest for the very first time, Jon and I are awkwardly flapping our wings into this new endeavor. Flying has to start somewhere.

Remember and give thanks.

Today is exactly one month of marriage to my Jonny guy but we celebrated together on Sunday. I talked to my Grandmother on the phone yesterday and she told me that I need to take pictures of this time in my life to be able to remember the gift of this season.

"Chelsea, when you are at a point in your life when you are doing too much, you are overwhelmed and hard pressed, look back at pictures of this time in your life and let it be a reminder to you that God loves you and loves taking care of you. You will experience all kinds of seasons in your life and it is good to record the gifts so that you don't forget them in the hard times."

These words, coming from my 87 year old Grandmother, wrapped around me like a warm hug. As I type, I think about the life that my Grandmother has lived and the weight that her years of seasons give to her advice.

Jon's parents stayed up late to welcome Jon and I back from our honeymoon and something that Jon's Dad told us resonates with my Grandmother's advice. He told us to replay our favorite memories over and over again in our minds. He told us that those good 'tapes' of sweet memories will be a light to us in hard times.

When Jesus was eating dinner with his disciples just before His death, he broke bread and passed around wine and told His disciples to continue communion in remembrance of Him.

"And as they were eating, he took bread, and after blessing it broke it and gave it to them, and said, 'Take; this is my body.' And he took a cup, and when he had given thanks he gave it to them, and they all drank of it. And he said to them, 'This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many. Truly, I say to you, I will not drink again of the fruit of the vine until that day when I drink it new in the Kingdom of God.'" Mark 14:22-25

Today, I am struck by how Jesus 'gave thanks' as he was preparing to go to the cross. And when we do communion, when we remember what Jesus did, how his blood was poured out for many, we also give thanks.

Remember, give thanks and rehearse what is good. This thread weaves throughout scripture and most stands out to me in the Psalms. Over and over again, in the midst of trial, the Psalmist remembers how good God is and talks about specific moments of God's provision.

I can 'Sunday School it' with the best of them, and of course being thankful and remembering the Good News of Jesus is important. I never want to make light of the incredible gift of life Jesus gave us. But I am moved today by how important it is to remember the thousand good gifts God gives us. Each precious gift is a reminder of His infinite love.

(Yes, I know there is a book about that and it is on my book list: http://onethousandgifts.com/)

And when there are dark times (be they short or small), I want to play those 'tapes of joy' in my mind as well as search out for the daily good. There is a sorrow of the soul that only God can penetrate. And one of the ways He does that is through reminders that there is light. Even if the clouds hide it, it doesn't take away from the fact that the sun does indeed live in the sky.

And so I remember and give thanks.

For a husband who is my friend,
new friends in a new place,
crocpots to help with hotel living,
long distance friends who reach out,
the time to read good books,
Google hangouts with family,
my pink ukulele that Jon gave to me,
learning to play Go with my husband,
pumpkin spice candles,
figuring how to open our hotel windows,
Jon actually being the only one able to muscle the windows open,
secretly listening to Christmas music when Jon is not home and loving every tune of it,
and waking up at 6am in the morning and being happy because I am waking up with my best friend.

I know I haven't read the book but I watched this trailer for the book and it brought tears to my eyes. It articulated what my heart was trying to express in this post. I might watch this, hmmm, five or more times today.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GhOUaszMGvQ#t=248

"If nothing ever changed, there would be no butterflies."

"...and she laughs at the time to come." Proverbs 31:25

There was a time when I feared change. I think it was sometime around 'the big change' that happens to everyone as they transition between the worlds of childhood and adolescence. Letting go of the carefree child me and learning to wear the awkward adult wardrobe made me distrustful of other 'big changes.' And like many young adolescent's, in order to protect myself, I took control. The bridge of years between me at this moment and my twelve year old self have been a battle against the construction of control. Slowly, God has helped me loose the bricks free of that wall, at times brick by brick and at times tumbling entire sections. 

A chasm of difference lies between self-control and control of circumstances. I had a beautiful childhood and an adventurous and wonderful adolescence. But I am a human in a broken world.  A natural byproduct of the sin in this world (and in me) is the knee jerk feeling that I must control my little universe to keep myself as safe as possible. I can't control the seasons, storms, other people, economy, blueberry prices, or traffic. But I do have a choice in how I respond to the things and people I can not control. 

God has been teaching me how to laugh with the joy of knowing that He is the Beginning and the End. God tells us in Psalm 35, "Let those who delight in my righteousness shout for joy and be glad and say evermore, 'Great is the Lord, who delights in the welfare of his servant.'"

I have entered a new big change- marriage to my best friend, a new name, and a new family. I have had to pinch myself a few times by how wonderful these early days of marriage have been for Jon and I. This season has been so sweet that, recently, I felt guilty and wondered when things would become difficult (because that is a part of life). But God reminded me how each season is a gift in itself and a gift to the next season. 

Spring ushers in summer. Summer grows autumn's harvest and autumn rests in winter. And winter causes spring to break across the ground like a giant smile in the earth. God, being the best of Fathers, gives only good gifts. I want to say with Paul, I know the secret of being content in need and in plenty. "For me, to live is Christ and to die is gain."

I did not plan to be so wordy in my first blog post in my new blog. As I flutter my wings in this new marriage season, I find myself with a window of time to return to old friends, reading and writing. To celebrate, I am refreshing my soul with ponderings in my private and public journals. 

My soul is refreshed in writing these thoughts and I hope your soul is refreshed by reading them.