The gift of giving.

Monk Parakeet (we think) - Irving, Texas

Yesterday, I talked Jon into taking me to Starbucks before our birding adventure. He was blessed with a day off and we planned to spend our free morning together exploring a nearby park. We hoped we could enjoy some bird observation but our main goal was to simply enjoy nature, ensconced as we are in our pavement neighborhood . The Texas air was surprisingly chilly and after a few moments in the gusting sixty-something-degree weather, we were both excited about the prospect of a warm drink. 

As we hurried into Starbucks, I noticed an older man a little down the sidewalk. He was standing next to a garbage can and intently examining a piece of paper. I wondered if he was homeless but quickly forgot about him as Jon and I embraced the warmth of the coffee shop. 

We spent a considerable time choosing our drinks and deciding on what treats should accompany them. We finally settled on breakfast sandwiches and as an afterthought, added muffins. I chose a blueberry muffin and nodded emphatically when asked if I wanted it heated up. 

We braced ourselves for the wind and beelined for Jon's Subaru. I happened to glance to my side and noticed that the old man, as if frozen in time, remained in the exact same position as before. My heart caught. "Jon," I called over the wind. "Would you be okay if I gave him one of my muffins?" Jon looked around and shouted back, "What?" But even before I explained, he saw the man and coming closer, said, "Of course, Chelsea. Give him whatever you think."

I approached the old man and he stepped back defensively. Jon, not wanting to alarm him more stayed a few more feet away. At handshake distance, the man looked younger. He looked down at his paper and asked me if I knew anything about Direct TV and how to get the $150 they were offering. I was confused. Maybe he wasn't homeless. 

Embarrassed, I told him I didn't know anything about Direct TV but I had an extra muffin and wondered if perhaps he would like it. He made eye contact with me at this point and reached for the proffered treat bag. "Well, it is probably for the best you don't know anything about this Direct TV." He told me genuinely. I smiled. "I hope God surprises you with all kinds of blessings today, sir. " I actually surprised myself saying it. He looked at me again and said, "He always does."

Before Jon and I were even buckled into the Subaru, we watched the man hungrily bite into the warm muffin. I was glad I had asked for it to be heated.

We prayed for him as we drove away. And somehow, giving that muffin away, to stranger in need, tasted better than I knew the muffin ever could have. 

Giving can feel vulnerable. What if my gift is not received? What if I regret giving something I value away?

Jon and I were in birder heaven at the park. We saw more birds than we could even begin to identify. But I can not help consider the God who fashioned them. He created unique feather after unique feather and because He delights in His creation, He notices them. God notices the birds.

Great Blue Heron - Irving, Texas

Matthew 10:29 "Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father."

Jesus reminds us in scripture that God cares even for the lowliest bird He has made. And if the one who breathed life into the dust of Adam cares about something so little, we can be confident that He notices us... with so much love. 

And He gave us the ultimate gift. Himself.

Why does giving feel so good? When I give what was never mine to begin with, something is released inside of me. It is as if I have let go of an invisible string that was holding me back. My soul feels lighter and happier. I was noticed by God and it feels so wonderful to share that gift, even if in a very small way, with someone else. 

I have a lot to learn about giving. I would not want to pat myself on the back for my 'good deed' and retreat back into what is comfortable. No. I want to keep noticing. 

Jon prayed out loud before we fell asleep last night. He prayed for the muffin man and BJ (another homeless man that we encountered that same day). But mostly, Jon prayed for our hearts. That God would help us have courage to meet people where they are at and even be willing to stay there with them. Because, that is what God does with us.